Relationship advice: Find someone who accepts you for the lazy piece of shit you are.

-(via suchvodka)

nahshaw:

omg i just changed my phone’s screen protector and now the reflection is so clear i can even see why my father left me

badassmccall:

if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances

magnetracecar:

onlinepunk:

Is this hell

I’m legitimately scared right now

grapewallofchina:

i went to a gay bar last night and they had an entire menu dedicated to tater tots why do some straight people even think they’re superior to the gays they’re not even close