Relationship advice: Find someone who accepts you for the lazy piece of shit you are.

-(via suchvodka)


omg i just changed my phone’s screen protector and now the reflection is so clear i can even see why my father left me


if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances



Is this hell

I’m legitimately scared right now


i went to a gay bar last night and they had an entire menu dedicated to tater tots why do some straight people even think they’re superior to the gays they’re not even close